1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? 2 O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent. 3 Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the praise of Israel. 4 In you our fathers put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. 5 They cried to you and were saved; in you they trusted and were not disappointed. 6 But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by men and despised by the people.
(Psalm 22: 1-6)
(Psalm 22: 1-6)
I slammed my fist against the wall and my entire body begin to shake. My voice had escalated to a yell, and my hands were trembling. "GOD, WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" I wailed through frustrated lips with my eyes still closed, and my heart beating in my ears. Before I knew it, my legs grew weak, and I slid down to my knees. My voice still rung in my ears. I was mad at God, and I wanted him to know it.
My plans did not work out, and I felt as though I'd fallen flat on my face. I'd been the one praying, and fasting... Yet, it seemed as though God had overlooked me and forgotten that I was in need of a blessing. Nothing was going my way, and I could not take that. My God! I'm supposed to be in New York living in the big city, fulfilling the internship of my dreams. I felt like He'd put the dream at the very tip of my fingers and snatched it away. NOTHING was going my way.
In the midst of my anger I began to feel guilty for being mad at Him. Then I remembered how David must have felt when he asked God "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" in Psalm 22. David was greatly favored in God's eyesight, and he still found himself blinded by his anger towards Him. But as I continued to read Psalm 22, in verses 22-31 I find David rejoicing and praising God. David had a moment of insecurity and doubt, he complained to God, but then he realized exactly who he served.
So I had a decision to make. Either I was going to be angry with God and stand in offense because of what was happening...or I could trust Him anyway, and praise Him despite my emotions. While kneeling there in my anger, somehow I still felt God's presence. He was listening to me, as I was honest with both Him and myself. I even recalled in Matthew 27 that Jesus spoke the same words as David. "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? That is to say, "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?" (Matthew 27:46).
The flesh causes bouts of doubt and pure unbelief.When we are angry we place a blockade between ourselves and God, and so we must let go of our pride and allow Him back in. The last thing that we want is a distancing between ourselves and someone we love... Further more, someone that loves US. We get angry, and God knows this, so He tells His people to "Anger, but sin not" (Ephesians 4:26). We are very human, and our flesh fights our spirit man daily. But we must allow ourselves to be submerged in faith, and trust God to ease the winds when the waves get too high. You will not be shaken by storms, and your feet are steady. God bless you! Love you!
My plans did not work out, and I felt as though I'd fallen flat on my face. I'd been the one praying, and fasting... Yet, it seemed as though God had overlooked me and forgotten that I was in need of a blessing. Nothing was going my way, and I could not take that. My God! I'm supposed to be in New York living in the big city, fulfilling the internship of my dreams. I felt like He'd put the dream at the very tip of my fingers and snatched it away. NOTHING was going my way.
In the midst of my anger I began to feel guilty for being mad at Him. Then I remembered how David must have felt when he asked God "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" in Psalm 22. David was greatly favored in God's eyesight, and he still found himself blinded by his anger towards Him. But as I continued to read Psalm 22, in verses 22-31 I find David rejoicing and praising God. David had a moment of insecurity and doubt, he complained to God, but then he realized exactly who he served.
So I had a decision to make. Either I was going to be angry with God and stand in offense because of what was happening...or I could trust Him anyway, and praise Him despite my emotions. While kneeling there in my anger, somehow I still felt God's presence. He was listening to me, as I was honest with both Him and myself. I even recalled in Matthew 27 that Jesus spoke the same words as David. "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? That is to say, "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?" (Matthew 27:46).
The flesh causes bouts of doubt and pure unbelief.When we are angry we place a blockade between ourselves and God, and so we must let go of our pride and allow Him back in. The last thing that we want is a distancing between ourselves and someone we love... Further more, someone that loves US. We get angry, and God knows this, so He tells His people to "Anger, but sin not" (Ephesians 4:26). We are very human, and our flesh fights our spirit man daily. But we must allow ourselves to be submerged in faith, and trust God to ease the winds when the waves get too high. You will not be shaken by storms, and your feet are steady. God bless you! Love you!