The 40-day devotional that I finished today challenged me to take a "Heart Inventory." Now I know you're probably thinking that seems pretty easy right? All you have to do is figure out what's in your heart right?? I thought it was going to be that accessible too. No, not in the least bit. It required me to ask to be made uncomfortable and revealed completely. This unveiling divulged so much so that I could see those ugly parts of myself. The parts that I had conveniently decorated with potted flowers and sprayed with fine perfumes, were no longer as pretty. There were people that I needed to forgive, and chains that needed to be broken. So there I was... "Coming out of the Closet."
My closet was pretty hidden, and I have to give myself a great deal of credit for hiding it so well. But, I also look at it and wonder what I'd done. I'd been harboring this vault of shame, defeat, insecurity, and fear. I'd masked it with pseudo-laughter, and half smiles. My mind could not rest, I could not sleep, and I was not eating... Yet, I still was living life like everything was okay. It made me wonder if I'd just let go of all of that how free I would actually feel. So I asked to be healed, set free, and delivered.
We live in a society that promotes the ideal of not showing feelings, and vulnerability being a weakness. However, 2 Corinthians 3:18 says "And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." So with an unconcealed heart and transparent smiles we become that much closer to Christ. We are able to transform into His image because we are no longer entangled in the thorns of our own. Our own tattered, prideful image is what keeps us so stagnant.
So in the midst of trying to somehow figure out why I was not happy I found the key to ultimate joy. I just so happened to "stumble" across it, and I pray that you allow God the chance to do the same for you. The next time you hear the phrase "Coming out of the Closet," don't just equate it to what the world thinks it is. Take the time today to open up that heart and come out of your closet, so that you can let Him in. The unveiling is worth it ! Love you guys! God bless you!
"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead," (Phillippians 3:13-14)